Friday, September 25, 2009

Lake House Exorcism

We snuck off this week to spend some alone time at Lake Granbury. Rented a nice lakehouse, boat, the works. I’m so spoiled. I know. So shoot me.

But first, the REAL haircut. We drove into Mansfield about midnight, then had a leisurely breakfast with Mike and Pam. Pam and I then went to VuJen Hair Studio for me to face my fate with Robyn and Rebecca, hair artistes extraordinaire. They’re both regular readers of this blog, so the new do a la drug test wasn’t a surprise. My blog couldn’t prepare the girls for the WAY the drug testers wrecked my hair, though! Rebecca said it’s going to take some doing to work with those layers when they grow out, and I think Robyn just flat gave up on the highlight part.

Later that afternoon, we went to supper, then traveled on to Granbury. Dropped by Kroger’s and picked up about $250 worth of perishables. (This will be important later.) By now, it’s dark. We were so stupid to try and find a lakehouse in the dark! We put the address in the GPS, to no avail. “Address doesn’t exist in this town.” You gotta love it.

Finally, we find the place. Gated property, looks inviting. We drive down the driveway and get out of the truck, flashlight in hand.

We cannot find the front door. By this time, ThatManILove is exhausted, he’s been sick, and he’s more than just a little done. We see a ramp, and go up it. There’s a door there, but no lockbox. We go downstairs, same thing. Finally, we find the lockbox...but by now, we’ve forgotten the lockbox number. I trudge back to the truck, find the paper, read the number by the interior light of the truck, and call it out to ThatManILove...who can’t hear me, because the wind is blowing.

We finally get into the place. We walk into the living room with the beautiful rock fireplace, just like was shown in the pictures....except for the bed in the kitchen, which is also in the living room. ThatManILove looks at me like, “What have you done, girl?” (Thank God he looked at the pictures, too, before we closed the deal.) Whoever took the pictures for the ad is either a cropping expert or one who knows how to work the heck out of Photoshop!

We’re both trying to talk ourselves into making this work when we realize there is no way from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor. We have to go outside to gain access to the 2nd floor. I can’t make this stuff up.

And then, I see a door. I open said door. Inside said door is...(wait for it!) old elevator. Complete with pillows and blanket. I kid you not. We work and we work, and we can’t get the elevator to run. Finally, we walk back up the upstairs ramp (outside the house, remember) and go up to the second floor. We get the second floor unlocked, and try the elevator from the top down. No go. We look around to see if this house is even a doable deal, since by now, it’s 9:30 p.m. There are probably 10 beds on the 2nd floor, complete with a black bathtub/shower. Scary, that.

None of this stuff was ever even mentioned in the ad - and the ad certainly never mentioned an elevator! That had been converted to a very small bedroom.

Needless to say, we immediately tried to call the realtor, to no avail. I sent an e-mail, we locked everything back up, and we get ready to leave. At this point, we realize that the lights on the second floor porch are blinking like they're participating in an exorcism. We go back in, try to find the way to turn them off, to no avail. We give up.

ThatManILove looked at me, and said, “We need to jet this deal and not worry about it tonight. Let’s holler Calf Rope and leave. I’m calling Mike and Pam to see if we can stay with them.”

So, he does, and they graciously say, “C’mon!” Thus begins another 45 minute drive. We’re trucking down the highway towards Mansfield about 20 minutes later, and somehow, I have my first post-elevator/bedroom shock cognizant brain thought.

“Honey, what did you do with that 30 lbs of ice?” (that’s now been melting for an hour plus...)

“Oh, Lordy, Janie, pull over! It’s sitting on top of everything in the back of the truck.”

We contributed to the ground water level of Johnson County, hit Mike and Pam’s house around 10:45 p.m., unloaded all our groceries into their refrigerators, and crashed.

It’s never boring around here!

PS - Did I tell you that the next day, I realized I left my favorite pair of MauiJim sunglasses on the table right next to the bed that was right next to the stove that was right next to the elevator/second bedroom that was in the kitchen/living room in the house we refused to sleep in? Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, yeah.

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